Sucker for love

Aubrey Drake Graham and Chris Brown made the headlines a few days ago because somehow, they managed to start a massive brawl in a Manhattan club. Truly, this is the gift that keeps on giving.

First, the apparent facts. On June 13, 2012, Drizzy and Breezy–really, you’ll get the nickname from me if you happen to start a bar fight–were both in the VIP room of the SoHo club W.i.P. Breezy apparently sent an expensive bottle of champagne Drizzy’s way. In turn, Drizzy responded in kind, because that’s what he does apparently. He thought it wise to send a note to Breezy that read, “I’m f*cking the love of your life [Rihanna], deal with it.” Dealing with it is precisely what Breezy and his entourage did, thus starting the ensuing mayhem. (NBA players Iman Shumpert and Tony Parker were apparently also on handat the time of this incident, but let’s stick to our two protagonists.)

Yes, you heard that right–two of the softest names in the music industry apparently wanted to show us folks how it is that they go down. You can’t make this stuff up.

The love of Chris Brown’s life, of course, is 24-year-old singer and superstar diva Rihanna who, depending on who you believe, has also apparently dated Drake since breaking up with Brown. And this is where the reader realizes exactly what Breezy and Drizzy are in this story–they’re two suckas. Let’s turn to our good friend D’Angelo here, who says it like no other.

First, our Canadian wunderkind–he still makes quality music, but I used to be a a bigger fan. From hurling himself around on a wheelchair on a Canadian television show to rapping with Little Brother, from allegedly writing Lil’ Wayne’s rhymes to a major record deal, there was a lot of hustle to celebrate with Aubrey. But Drake turned soft and started singing–and not only singing, but singing about drunk-dialing a love interest in the middle of the night to tell her that she could do so much better. This is the type of conduct that leads you nowhere in life, but still we ate it all up. Now, Drake is making headlines after fighting Chris Brown probably because he listened to ‘Headlines‘ one time too many. ‘I might be too strung out on compliments, overdosed on confidence. Started not giving a f*ck and stopped fearing the consequence. Drinking every night because we drink to my accomplishments.’

Secundo, there’s the prodigal son, Chris Brown himself. I had always dismissed him as little more than a young popstar who was running the charts. But then he hung around, released ‘Kiss Kiss‘ and, most importantly, played in ‘Stomp the Yard.’ The movie might have been forgettable, but it did seem like Chris Brown was all grown up. He quickly got together and stayed with Rihanna, two wise decisions–and the two were almost cute together, too. But on Feb. 8, 2009, Chris Brown thought it wise to hit Rihanna. I don’t know all of the details to this story, but I know how Rihanna looked prior to, and after this incident. I like to think that this is one of the few things in life that I’m better than–that I would never do what Chris Brown did to his girlfriend at the time. The last chapter, for Brown, came when he resurrected his music career, resurfaced with a laughable bleached hairand threw a tantrum on the set of ‘Good Morning America.’

And in mid-June of 2012, both of our suckas found themselves at W.i.P. nightclub on the same night. Breezy is the sucka because he fell for Drizzy’s seventh-grade trick–hook, line and sinker, too! Drizzy wanted Breezy to react in this exact way, and Breezy did. That said, it’s not entirely Breezy’s fault because truly, how else should he have reacted? Stepping up to Drizzy was not only predictable, but it was Breezy’s only move. Remember that Breezy might be soft, but he would have been stepping up to someone equally, if not more, soft as he is in Drizzy. Breezy knew that and so, he stepped up.

Drizzy is the sucka too, because that little stunt wasn’t clever, witty, or funny, and it might lead to his arrest. It led to a brawl, caused damages to the W.i.P. owner and hurt innocent people in the mayhem. For that alone, some might say that he deserves to spend a night or three in jail where, my guess is, he’d probably want to call someone in the middle of the night again. ‘A lotta scary people out here, ma. Can’t drop the soap over here, ma. This hurts but soon I’ll be coming home, ma.’ Or something like that.

The one winner? Rihanna, of course, over whom two of the biggest names in the music industry are fawning and now fighting. The night after the brawl, she went out at Jay-Z’s 40/40 club with a ripped t-shirt that had a message. ‘And if people stare, then the people stare.’ Drizzy probably taught her about YOLO, and Rihanna is doing precisely that right now–with neither Drizzy nor Breezy.

You go, girl.