Canada losing its cool over O Canada is so Canada.

  (Photo courtesy of  Robert Couse-Baker )

(Photo courtesy of Robert Couse-Baker)

How's everyone doing? Shitty week in the Internets, amirite? After all this time, it turns out that Jian Ghomeshi will walk away a free man despite all the despicable things he has done; wouldn't it be fun to one day have our vaunted justice system take a stand for something meaningful?

Elsewhere, the Toronto Raptors are only one win away from their first Eastern Conference finals in team history. The Raptors are no joke but everyone still laughs at Canada.

You see, just before game 3 of their series in Miami as whomever it was sang the Canadian national, Heat guard Dwyane Wade kept shooting and warming up. NBA players are taught to stand in line and in silence when the national anthems are playing, to so-call put some respeck for Canada or the United States because it never is another country, and Wade broke the rules.

Apparently that was enough to break Canada's heart because we've since been acting like a petulant five-year-old who doesn't get his candy when his mommy told him he could have it. Politicians got in on the action too, asking for a formal apology from Wade because no one ever has broken any rules now. Some politician (and I refuse to learn the specifics of this because it is so utterly inconsequential) was even called Mayor of Canada in an ESPN article, which is really all we deserve.

Canadians are nice people, they say, but there typically is no rhyme or reason as to what makes people mad. In this case, it's apparently our national anthem.

But not really. If the Canadian national anthem meant so much to Canadians, then maybe we would insist on stopping to play it everywhere and anytime in sports, at every sporting event of little to no consequence. The national anthems have a place at the Olympic Games, and deservedly and rightfully so yes. But why do we sing it every step along the way through an, in the case of the NBA, 82-game regular season plus playoffs? All this does is cheapen this thing we supposedly cherish so much. At this point, the main reason why we sing the national anthems before sporting events is... well, let's see: because we've always done so, I guess? Really, what's the point otherwise?

Another thing: if the Canadian national anthem truly meant as much as Canadians say it does, then maybe we would insist on hearing the original version, the one in French. Or, you know, at least the bilingual one.

This post was originally published in my newsletter.